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Inspiration Sunday: New Year, Here I Come...


I do a post every year for New Years.  But I had a lot to say this year, so I wanted to blog it, share a little more of my soul with you.

This year for me held so much fulfillment.  I ended 2017 filled with hope, with letting go of the past for truly the first time ever, and I ended it knowing that it was time to start taking risks. 2018 did not disappoint this decision. 

But maybe I should back up to 2013-2016, which could best be described as a 3 year hell for me.  I don't want to forget it because I don't ever want to be there again. And the reality was? I was the one keeping me there.  I was stuck mentally in a marriage that I wanted so badly to save, but it wasn't mutual. I experienced several family deaths, including my Dad’s and my furry companion of 14 years. I was a victim of deep depression. I was saddened almost every time I was awakened. Outside of keeping my kids alive and going, I felt purposeless. In 2016 My divorce was final. And I felt emptied of all hope...why wasn't my marriage a story of redemption...

seeing Lysa Tyrkeurst and her journey of late, and her marriage resurrection after it spiraling down a path of destruction has been bittersweet for me. Maybe I didn't pray enough? Maybe, or maybe I prayed just the right amount.

But that’s her story and I love it, and this? This was my story, and what I needed in order to quite literally save my life. I had to allow a death of marriage to take place, and salvage what was still alive, me, my kids, him...but not us. 

2016 became a year of beginning healing...of coming back from the dead...of remembering how to live...figuring out single parenting and still moving my businesses forward...

2017 some time in the summer, I agreed to go on a few dates with one of my best friends.  I didn't foresee anything really coming of it. But we have known eachother for almost 30 years and he was someone I haven't ever had to pretend with, and he saw me through much of the pain of the divorce. And I knew he was interested in me, but it was the furthest thing from my mind...until he said just the right thing one day. It was something along the lines of "you'll never learn to live again if you don't go ahead and let die what was meant to die..." I'm paraphrasing...but I realized I was still holding onto what could never be...and maybe never was, and I was just blind to that fact....

Fast forward into 2017 at a Dollywood sometime in July, my now new love handed me a penny at a wishing well, and said "make a wish..."

And I watched him reach out for my hand...and I didn't wish, but my heart whispered a prayer..."let it be him, only if you want it Lord. If it's not him, please remove him from my world forever..."

We became a couple that December, and the rest is my 2018...

I would love to tell you it's been all sunshine and roses...it so hasn’t been. I was overcoming a lot of anger and fear. But I found myself miraculously blossoming under this new relationship, and not because of him...but because I was giving myself over to everything God had for me. I had let go, FINALLY, of those things that had hurt me, wounded me, injured me, and began to be so thankful for them.

I found myself finally addressing the bullies in my life, I was to be kicked around no more.

And I passionately began to build my traditional and network marketing businesses like crazy...

Look...

What do you see?

I see a girl that was so afraid to move because the pain was so bad, to a woman moving in spite of pain because action was healing me, healing my mind, healing my heart and healing my soul...

My fella's name is David. We got married 12/22/2018. He's perfectly imperfect. He loves The Lord...and he's crazy about me...and I am head over heels...

No I didn't get the resurrection story of marriage...

But it's my story...

I did get the redemption story of the God of angel armies who offers second or even third chances...even to a girl who once believed the lie of death to be the only way out...

me

humbled

thankful

changed

forgiven

loved

Planning on living out 2019 in such a way that the most incredible 2018 will pale in comparison to.

Why?

Because I always could...but just never did

Until Now.

Bring it

Let's do This...

2019

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