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Sunday Inspiration: Confessions of an openly weird Mom


So whether you're a mom or not, we all have "children" we care for in our lives. We all have homes to take care of, and we all face illness; either our kids or ourselves.

This week was hellish, but wonderful all in the same. My two youngest have literally never had the flu, and boom this week, flu b hit. It dramatically changed all of my plans for the week. One kiddo was bouncing off the walls, the other was horizontal and just so pitiful. It became about diffusing every oil known to man. Putting onions everywhere like my Grammy used to. Putting onions in socks, soups, air hugs, teas, vitamins, and lots of prayer. Hey, I pulled out every grandma trick there was! LOL

There's nothing more humbling than seeing your child frail. I do not want to imagine a worse scenario, my heart aches for parents who have walked a more serious path than just flu b. So I found myself thankful for the health of my children, even during this illness. Probably not something I stay thankful for enough. This life is such a whisp in the wind for some.

And then when they got better, time for mom to disinfect the house of the evil flu bug. Insert big dramatic sigh here.

Ok I may be the only mom in the world, but I despise all house work. I love cooking, hate the cleaning. I love bathing, hate the cleaning. I love clean laundry, hate the cleaning. You get my point.

So my flu disinfection started with some feet kicking and fit throwing, honestly maybe a little swearing. I just am such a baby when it comes to house work! LOL

The boys had a day out, so I cranked up my yoga workout music (It's always ever that or the 80s, just sayin), and I began to clean.

My youngest had left some pretty incredible surprises in his bathroom. So I began to clean, frustrated. Doing the whole bit of the sarcastic talk, "well of COURSE this is where we leave the toilet paper roll, because it's so much effort to move it 12 inches over where it belongs!"; "well of COURSE this is where we keep the bowl we vomited in because we were really just trying to save mom from the grossness by not vomiting in the toilet 12 inches from this bowl!"...and then I began to scrub...

I find solace and peace in the strangest places. Gardening has always been a place as my hand touches new life to be, I feel the presence of God. Well He joined me in the bathroom. I am the main person who cleans the bathrooms because I'm the only one that does them right, and I'm particular, But today for the first time in many years amidst my usual cleaning of the commode and sink, to my shock, I noticed new stains. New spots I hadn't seen but had clearly been there all along, screaming at me to clean them.

A wave of emotion hit me that I cannot explain as I turned my attention from the obvious areas I've cleaned probably thousands of times in my almost 17 years here in this house, to see the many dirty spots, I have for years missed.

I stopped in awe and fascination at seeing these spots I had overlooked so many times. I was already on my knees, but found myself beginning a silent prayer.

My whole world has forever been about survivor mode. And I slowly begin to clean these new spots. I started to get excited about finding these new dirty areas and I found myself LOOKING for these new areas to clean. I realized I missed so many spots, little corners I don't normally see, or surfaces I didn't realize were dirty. I hadn't even ever thought to look for these areas, and they were so in need of a cleaning.

Then there was that one spot, you have one, you know the one that never comes clean. It's in my main bathroom, from one of my kids spilling goodness knows what and then covering it up with the trash can. And last week when I cleaned this bathroom I remember just yelling at that spot and scrubbing it and finally just giving up and saying "ok, you know I see you. Eventually you'll come clean!"

In my excitement of discovery, I decided to tackle this spot differently today. I pulled out the trash can excited on my journey of new dirt to clean, and I began to spray on cleaner. "Today is your day spot!" I said to myself. Maybe even threw in a little Macbeth of "out damn spot!" with a British accent of course LOL.

As I began to scrub, that flood of emotion again came over me. It was for the first time in months of scrubbing away at this spot, that I saw it actually coming off of my floor. I was seeing this stain that upset me so much the first time I found it, leave my life forever. And my tears began.

I have forever been on a journey of being a mom, that I have many times lost sight of cleaning up my own life, my own dirt, my own problems. My sight is always on the kids and their life, their dirt, their problems. The last 2-3 years has been such a journey of cleaning up me. Of seeing those stains that are slowing me down, and accepting them, but scrubbing them away a little every day. And in this moment scrubbing my bathroom floor I felt so full of hope.

Yea, I'm weird like that. Crying on my hands and knees in the bathroom floor scrubbing away getting excited about this incredible metaphor of life I was experiencing.

God must feel so good when one of those spots is finally removed so more of our souls can shine through. We get dirty to get clean to get dirty to get clean, and there are those spots on our spirit that weigh us down. We don't even know why they are there, or what purpose they serve or if you're like me, not even know how to clean them off.

I wouldn't trade the last 3 years of pain for anything in the world because all of the work, revealed so much dirt that I would have never seen. These stains cleaning up keeps revealing who I am, to me. The person I have hidden from the most.

Getting healthy is a lifetime journey. Never erasing the pain, just cleaning it up to reveal the incredible pearl that pain created.

Ever had a bathroom spot scrubbing epiphany moment? Ever believed the lie that your soul was forever stained/tainted and that would never change? Yea. Me too.

Maybe you're on a similar journey. Weight loss, or fitness, but realizing it's about becoming more and better in everything you do. It's about being honest with yourself and understanding why you do what you do, so that you can change it.

I always tell the boys for every seed of adversity, God already has a seed of equal or greater value planted to produce the fruit that will overcome that struggle. Because our greatest struggles become our greatest victories, but only if we keep plugging along, scrubbing as we go.

I'm so thankful we had a week of the flu, because it became a week of us getting closer, of them realizing how much I love them, that I stop my life to care for them. I never got so many 'I love yous' and 'Thanks mom'. And then the revelation after the flu storm, that there's always more to learn, always more to grow, always more spots to clean to reveal a healthier version of me.

Stay grateful. Stay humble. Stay in the mode of always becoming the best YOU! Here's to you and the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING YEAR ahead of you! Healthy Looks Good On YOU! ~d

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